utorok, 31. decembra 2013

Silvestrovský MAWOB špeciál: Knižné výroky 2013

Just One Day (Gayle Forman)

I turn to Melanie. It’s on her now. She narrows her green eyes at Willem. “If you rape or murder my friend, I will kill you.” 
Willem tsk-tsks. “You Americans are so violent. I’m Dutch. The worst I will do is run her over with a bicycle.” 
“While stoned!” Melanie adds.


Just One Day (Gayle Forman)

He looks around. “It’s nice, this. The canal.” He looks at me. “You.” 
“I’ll bet you say that to all the canals.”


Beauty Awakened (Gena Showalter)

“What are you, anyway?” she asked almost absently. 
“You haven’t figured it out on your own?” 
“No. How could I?” 
“There are many ways.” 
“Name one.” 
“Easy. A sensitive spirit.” 
She expelled a weary breath. “All I know is you aren’t human.” 
“Correct.” 
“So why don’t you just tell me?” 
“Would you believe me?” If he admitted he was a Sent One, she would, perhaps, have no idea what that was. If he used the word angel, she might have certain expectations he would be unable to meet.


Penmort Castle (Kristen Ashley)

“Abigail Butler’s phone, Edith Truman speaking,” she announced grandly. 
Abby halted and hoped to all that was holy that there was a salesman or someone else she didn’t care about on the other end. 
“Yes, Abigail’s here and I’m glad you called,” she said tartly, sounding as if she was not glad and furthermore the last time she was glad was 1943.


Clockwork Prince (Cassandra Clare)

“Perhaps we could say she’s a mad maiden aunt who insists on chaperoning us everywhere.”
“My aunt or yours?” Jem inquired.
“Yes, she doesn’t really look like either of us, does she? Perhaps she’s a girl who’s fallen madly in love with me and persists in following me wherever I go.”
“My talent is shape-shifting, Will, not acting,” said Tessa, and at that, Jem laughed out loud. Will glared at him.


Love Irresistibly (Julie James)

“Our cook made a joke to one of the waiters about honing his cooking skills in prison. The waiter asked what he’d been serving time for, and he said, ‘Murder.’” 
“I bet that put an end to the conversation real fast. And yes, you can fire him,” Brooke had said. “Obviously, he lied on his employment application.” 
All of Sterling’s employees, regardless of job position, were required to answer whether they’d ever been convicted of a crime involving “violence, deceit, or theft.” Pretty safe to say that murder qualified. 
Ten minutes later, the manager had called her back. “Um . . . what if he didn’t exactly lie? I just double-checked his application, and as it turns out, he did check the box for having been convicted of a crime.”
Brooke had paused at that. “And then the next question, where we ask what crime he’d been convicted for, what did he write?” 
“Uh . . . ‘second-degree murder.’” 
“I see. Just a crazy suggestion here, Cory, but you might want to start reading these applications a little more closely before making employment offers.” 
“Please don’t fire me.”


Love Irresistibly (Julie James)

“Who said yes?” 
“Brooke Parker. I’m seeing her tonight.” 
“Fuck you,” Vaughn said, somewhat in awe. “I knew it. You’ve been digging her from the moment she told you to shove your obstruction of justice threats up your ass.” 
“What can I say? I’m a sucker for the shy, quiet types.”


Bared to You (Sylvia Day)

(Tu treba vedieť, že Gideon Cross je milionár)

Cracking his knuckles, Cary dramatically prepared to open his fortune cookie. “Let’s see. Will I be rich? Famous? About to meet Mr. or Ms. Tall, Dark, and Tasty? Traveling to distant lands? What’d you guys get?” 
“Mine’s lame,” I said. “In the end all things will be known. Duh. I didn’t need a fortune to figure that out.”
Gideon opened his and read, “Prosperity will knock on your door soon.” 
I snorted. Cary shot me a look. “I know, right? You snatched someone else’s cookie, Cross.”


A Kingdom of Dreams (Judith McNaught)

"You are mad!" she snapped, her chest heaving. "And you are a devil!" 
"And you, my dear," Royce imperturbably replied, "are a bitch." 
With that, he turned to the horrified priest and unhesitatingly announced, "The lady and I wish to be wed."


Tangled (Emma Chase)

I smile and hold out the flower again. “Have dinner with me on Saturday.” 
Her brow wrinkles. “Are you taking some kind of medication that I’m not aware of?” 
“Why do you ask?” 
“Did I not make myself clear last night? Why would you think I would ever consider going out with you again?” 
I shrug. “I was hoping you’d be in a better mood this morning. That maybe after a good night’s sleep you’d realize that you still…like me.” 
She snorts. “Don’t hold your breath.” She takes a step. Then stops and turns back to me. “No, on second thought—do.”


The Viscount Who Loved Me (Julia Quinn)

Kate's eyes widened as he left the bed and stripped off the rest of his clothing. His body was perfection, his chest finely muscled, his arms and legs powerful, and his— "Oh, my God," she gasped. 
He grinned. "I'll take that as a compliment."


Falling for the Ghost of You (Christie, Nicole)

"The next night I walk in on Zane just coming out of the shower. He's wearing nothing but a towel knotted low around his waist. Beads of water slide down his tanned muscles, from his chest down to the fascinating ridges along his hips... Don't worry, I handle it well. I scream, "Ewww!" and run from the room. No, I really did. I walked into that room and saw the hottest sexiest guy I've ever seen--wet and half naked. And I said, "Ewww." I know. How am I still single, right?"


Falling for the Ghost of You (Christie, Nicole)

“So I was super fat.  It’s my father’s fault.  He never hugged me.” 
“So, what, you ate him?”


Vain (Fisher Amelie)

He watched me intently and a deluge of emotions washed over his face. His eyebrows pinched together as if he was trying to fight something. Finally, his face relaxed then both his palms rounded my back and up my shoulders, fisting both my braids. 
“They’re falling out,” I finally spoke. 
“They always do at the end of the day,” he added, never breaking his stare, inches from my face. My eyes closed when he pulled the bands holding both braids and they slipped off into his hands. His fingers deftly freed both plaits painfully slowly all the way to the top of my head. Finally, I felt his fingers sift through the length to the ends. “It’s the favorite part of my day.”


Play It Safe (Kristen Ashley)

“Do you think it’s weird that I sleep with my fake, gay boyfriend?”


Shadow's Claim (Cole, Kresley)

“I live a life of service,” Trehan had corrected him. “And I have pastimes I enjoy. I read by the fire—” “Because your only alternative is to stare mindlessly at the flames.” 
I do that as well.


Shadow's Claim (Cole, Kresley)

(Vnútorný monológ hlavného hrdinu)

Bettina was woefully young, and she’d obviously been overprotected. Perhaps she simply hadn’t been around other males? She might have bonded with the one given most access to her. Or was this only wishful thinking? He knew his looks didn’t compare to the demon’s—admittedly Caspion was . . . without flaw—but Trehan had other laudable qualities. I’m a good killer. A talented scholar. Fuck. How could she possibly resist?


The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (April Tucholke)

It was the kind of place someone like Edgar Allan Poe would want to rot away in . . .


The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (April Tucholke)

I stared at him for a second. “The things you said in the cemetery, before we heard the kid’s screams, about there never having been another girl before me. You were kind of telling the truth, weren’t you?” 
River looked at the wall, and kind of, well, fidgeted.“Yes. Yes, I was.” 
“Are you lying?” 
“Yes.” 
“Did you just lie, again?” 
“Yes.”


Present Perfect (Bailey, Alison)

My head was so screwed up that Freud would have thrown his hands up and retired.


Ruin (Rachel Van Dyken)

(Síce veľmi klišeoidné prvé stretnutie, ale aspoň vtipné :D)

Well, there really was no way out of it. I nodded. “Sorry, I just…” I shouldn’t have looked. If I could go back in time, I would have. I had no idea that one look would devastate me. Weeks from now I would regret that one look, for one reason and one reason only. His eyes held my ruin. 
“Weston.” He held out his hand. “And you are?” 
Screwed.


Ruin (Rachel Van Dyken)

“You’re a freshman. I don’t do freshmen, as in, I don’t date them. Hell, I don’t usually even help them, but you did almost knock me over, and regardless of how much you deny it, you were counting my abs—” 
“I wasn’t—” 
“You were.” He sighed wistfully. “I watched your mouth move, one, two, three. It’s eight by the way, an eight-pack. I work out a lot.”


Ruin (Rachel Van Dyken)

“I peed the bed once.” 
Her eyes widened. 
“I was four.” 
“How life-altering.” 
“It was.” I nodded. “My teddy bear didn’t make it.” 
“Tragic.” 
I shook my head. “I always wonder to myself, could I have done something different to save my bear?”


Ruin (Rachel Van Dyken)

Well here’s to hoping he still wanted to be my boyfriend after I clung to him like a twelve–year-old Justin Bieber fan. Yay.


Almost Heaven (Judith McNaught)

“I think he’s quite demented.”


Almost Heaven (Judith McNaught)

“Oh, and don’t comment on Lady Wiltshire’s blue hat.” 
“Why not?” 
“Because it’s her hair.”


Hard Evidence (Pamela Clare)

"I know I'm no woman's idea of the perfect husband. I'm a convict and a killer. I've got a bad temper and no real education. I swear too much. I've got no roots, no family. Hell, I don't even know what family is." 
Tessa touched her hand to his cheek. "You're strong, brave, protective—" 
"So is a Doberman."


Brooklyn Girls (Gemma Burgess)

My breath smells like an open grave.


Brooklyn Girls (Gemma Burgess)

Why do I only ever see cute guys when I look like an armpit?


Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops (Campbell, Jen)

CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of Atonement? But not the film cover, please. Keira Knightley’s neck makes me want to punch things.


The Darkest Minds (Alexandra Bracken)

“I think we should stop for the night,” Chubs said. “Are you going to find a park?” 
“Relax, buddy; I got this,” Liam said. 
“You keep saying that,” Chubs muttered, sitting back, “and then it’s, Oh, sorry team, let’s huddle together for warmth, while the bears try to break in and eat our food.” 
“Yeah…sorry about that,” Liam said. “But hey, what’s life without a little adversity?” 
That had to have been the fakest attempt at optimism since my fourth grade teacher tried reasoning that we were better off without the dead kids in our class because it’d mean more turns on the playground swings for the rest of us.


The Darkest Minds (Alexandra Bracken)

Liam: “Cause, frankly, the way I see it, you and me? Inevitable."


Never Fade (Bracken, Alexandra)

“You are actually the worst person I have ever met,” Chubs said. “And people like you are the reason we have middle fingers.”


Never Fade (Bracken, Alexandra)

“Miss Vida,” Liam said, “has anyone ever told you that you are positively the whipped cream on the sundae of life?” 
She glared at him. “Anyone ever told you your head is shaped like a pencil?” 
“That is physically impossible,” Chubs groused. “He’d be—” 
“Actually,” Liam began, “My brother once did try to—What?” 
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Chubs said, “apparently the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours. Do continue.” 
“I’m going to guess you probably don’t want to hear about the time he pushed my head through the neighbor’s fence.…” 
“Was there a lot of blood?” Vida asked, suddenly interested. “Did you lose an ear?”


Never Fade (Bracken, Alexandra)

“So a thought crossed my mind,” Liam said suddenly. 
“That must have been a lonely journey,” Chubs said, flipping the page of his book.


The Immortal Highlander (K.M.Moning)

"I have one of the, er… fairies here with me— " 
"Tuatha Dé," Adam corrected irritably. "You're bloody well making me sound like Tinkerbell."


Lady Be Good (Susan Elizabeth Phillips)

“Do you have any idea how pathetic you are?” she said. 
“Me?” His eyebrows shot up. “You’re the one who’s never been laid.” 
“Life is about a lot more than sex.” 
“Yeah, well, you don’t play golf, either.”


A môj najobľúbenejší:

Lover at Last (J.R. Ward)

“I think that’s Justin Bieber.” Standing in front of a lineup of Lay’s potato chips, Qhuinn looked overhead to the speaker inset into the ceiling tiles. “Yup. I’m right, and I hate that I know that.” 
Next to him, John Matthew signed, "How do you know?"
“The little shit is everywhere.” 
To prove the point, he motioned to a greeting card display featuring Short, Cocky, and Fifteen-Minutes-Are-Up. “I swear, that kid is proof the Antichrist is coming.” 
"Maybe it’s already here."
“Would explain Miley Cyrus.”


Máte aj vy poznačené nejaké vtipné výroky? Podeľte sa s nami!

11 komentárov:

  1. :D To jsou dobré hlášky, u některých jsem se fakt nasmála :)
    Nejvíc mě momentálně oslovila tahle:
    "My head was so screwed up that Freud would have thrown his hands up and retired."
    Zrovna ve Freudovi se tu letos vrtám, potřebuju se některé ty jeho teorie naučit na zkoušku a vůbec mi to neleze do hlavy :)

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  2. "Why do I only ever see cute guys when I look like an armpit?" - to je presne moja situácia 8DDD hlavne keď venčím psa, tak idem von často v okuliaroch a s mastnými vlasmi dúfajúc, že nikoho neuvidím, ale presne vtedy stretnem pekných chlapcov alebo kamošov, čo by ma nemali vidieť v takom stave na verejnosti 8D ale venčenie psa akosi stále nepovažujem za verejnosť 8D

    Na Willovi, Jemovi a Tesse som sa toľko nasmiala, tie hlášky a podpichovania boli super 8D

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  3. Nejlepší :D Nejvíc mě pobavil tento:

    “So I was super fat. It’s my father’s fault. He never hugged me.”
    “So, what, you ate him?”

    a tento:

    "You are mad!" she snapped, her chest heaving. "And you are a devil!"
    "And you, my dear," Royce imperturbably replied, "are a bitch."
    With that, he turned to the horrified priest and unhesitatingly announced, "The lady and I wish to be wed."

    Co se týče mých vtipných výroků... No, já jich mám hodně poznačených, četla jsem několik Riordanů a 2 díly TMI, to samo o sobě by vydalo na takovýhle článek :)

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  4. Bože, niektoré sú naozaj super a skoro som skapala od smiechu :D Najviac ma bavili asi prvé dve, lebo včera som prečítala Iba jeden deň, ale aj ostatné stáli za to :D

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  5. Jeee, toto bolo super!:) Som chcela vybrať nejakú hlášku čo ma najviac dorazila, ale aj tak by som skončila tým, že by som tu kopírovala polovicu postu takže...:D Radšej nič a teším sa na budúci rok.:DD

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  6. Ja budem mat odveci otazku, ale - ako sa ti cita na tom Kindli? Zvazujem to, najma z toho eko hladiska... Ale stale neviem, ci to moze nahradit knizku. Je pravda, ze v AJ citam najma taku nie uplne top svetovu klasiku, ale najma oddychovky a tie knihy nakoniec koncia s ozuzlanymi rohmi a cele pociarkane... stale sa vsak neviem rozhodnut:) Tak by som ocenila nejake argumenty ZA citacku:)) - ake ma podla teba vyhody?

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    Odpovede
    1. Nooo...čítačka je podľa mňa úžasná vec, a oproti knihe má jedine výhody, ak si samozrejme odmyslíme tú jednu obrovskú nevýhodu, a to že kniha je proste kniha :)
      Super je, že nemusíš so sebou nikde vláčiť ťažké knihy, hlavne ak niekam cestuješ. Kedykoľvek ju môžeš vytiahnuť na zastávke a čítať si aj postojačky s igelitkou v ruke :) Strašne dobre sa s ňou číta v posteli, oveľa lepšie sa s ňou polohuje, ako s klasickou knihou :D proste môžeš ležať v podstate akokoľvek a stále môžeš pohodlne čítať. ďalšia skvelá výhoda sú práve tie výroky, ktoré si môžeš zvýrazňovať a potom pohodlne vyextrahovať do počítača, čiže ich nemusíš vôbec ručne prepisovať.

      Blbé je, že som si na Kindle tak zvykla, že už pomaly ani neviem čítať normálnu knihu - neviem sa pri nej pohodlne usadiť, neviem sa pri nej sústrediť...no hrôza :D Samozrejme stále hrozne rada kupujem knihy a moje obľúbené musím mať vždy v 3D podobe, nestačia mi iba e-booky. Na knihy by som nikdy nezanevrela, ale čítačka mi rozhodne uľahčuje život :D

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    2. ďakujem za odpoveď,
      veď toto je ten hlavný problém - aspoň u mňa - že tá normálna kniha je proste kniha, máš to fyzicky, človek k nej nadobudne časom taký vrúcny vzťah:) ale je pravda, že čítačka je iste skladnejšia a nemusí hneď každý vidieť, že nečítam janu eyrovú, ale nejakú oddychovku:)

      ale ešte jednu otázku mám - keď čítaš anglické knihy, dá sa tam napr. jednoduchšie urobiť dajme tomu preklad slovíčok, ktorým nerozumieš? zaujímalo by ma totiž, či je možné napr. natiahnuť si do čítačky anglický slovník a keď niečomu nebudem rozumieť rovno si to vyhľadať. ak by to bolo možné, tak by to pre mňa bolo jednoznačné plus a vážne by som zvažovala jej kúpu...

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    3. V Kindli máš automaticky anglický výkladový slovník - to znamená, že si len ťukneš na slovo ktorému nerozumieš a hneď sa ti zobrazí jeho význam - v angličtine. Mne to dosť pomáha. Ale pokiaľ viem, tak sa jedného času dal na internete zohnať aj česko-anglický slovník do kindle, ak by anglický výkladový nestačil...

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    4. jj, už som zistila, len som nevedela spätne zmazať komentár:) v každom prípade, vďaka za radu, idem filtrovať, ktorá je je dobrá, lebo ten angl. slovník ma presvedčil:)

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  7. Jsou skvělý. :D Bohužel si žádný úryvky nepíšu. :(

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